[ Of course he has. But this is no time to court the wrath of anyone, because doubtless, they will all be listening. They've already suffocated half the crew. He doesn't want to see that extended to the other half. ]
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
Don't get angry with them. It won't help, it never helps. Not here, and not with them. You know that.
[ He doesn't tell her she has no reason to be angry. He just doesn't want her to show it. Keep it locked inside, hidden, controlled. Keep it until the moment when it's useful, because it's only use right now would be to get her into trouble. ]
[ Caught. She should have known pressing Sturmhond wouldn't get her very far, but she had to try. She's been trying with everyone who hasn't been immediately dying. He's one of the few where she really, truly wants to know his thoughts - if for no other reason than his position and for what rapport he seems to have with Gliese. And of course he'd be the only one so far to rebuff her. ]
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
It's a little l8 for that! ::::/
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
I know you're right, 8ut how could I not 8e mad? Really???? I'm not you! I can't just put a smile on and pretend like everything is fine and dandy.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
8ecause it's not. I didn't fight my way 8ack onto 8lue for shit like this, Sturmhond.
[ She's just not worried about getting into trouble. For however angry she might be, she knows at the end of the day that she plans to remain loyal. And if she gets in trouble anyway? Fuck it. ]
Yes you can. You can put on a smile. You can say the right words, you can do whatever you have to do, because the consequence of not doing that is far worse than half a minute of pain.
[ Which is not to diminish those thirty seconds. They had been some of the worst of his life. They had not marked the first time Sturmhond thought he would die here in the CDC's arms, but it had been hard to keep perspective when he had felt the life squeezed from him.
But it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what they do; he will show them the same face that he always does, because righteous anger has never served anyone well here. And he has more than once been shown that it wouldn't take very much for them to cut absolutely everyone on this crew off permanently. ]
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
You smile when you don't feel like smiling. Anger is a guise, Vriska, like anything else. You wear it when strength and indignation is needed, you lean on it to stop yourself falling.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
You show it when you choose to. But never when you feel it. Then it becomes a weakness, and that's when it will be used against you. You did not fight your way back to Blue for that.
[ Later, when her fires are doused and Vriska isn't rampaging around like a bull in a china shop, this reply will be much of the reason. It's a long time before she replies to Sturmhond's comments, because they bowl her over with their honesty. It's not that it's particularly shocking to hear; but she's been rage and fire from the moment she first texted Barnaby, and this is the first douse of shockingly cold water smothering her flames.
Of course he's right. He's usually right.
... but she can still be pissed off about his approach, at least. ]
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Don't you F8CKING 8lackmail me with Kyoya, Sturmhond. That's low, even for you, and I don't need the fucking reminder!
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Like I don't fucking know????
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
And you know what? Still not you! I am not going to smile and pretend to 8e gracious and perfect and whatever joke of the day it is you're passing yourself off as.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I wasn't, 8ut sure, continue to make this all a8out you for some reason!
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
It's what everyone did wrong!
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
It should 8e o8vious to anyone with eyes that some of the names on that list are total horseshit.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Guesswork or not, you can't tell me you haven't thought a8out it at all.
no subject
Vriska.
[ Of course he has. But this is no time to court the wrath of anyone, because doubtless, they will all be listening. They've already suffocated half the crew. He doesn't want to see that extended to the other half. ]
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
Don't get angry with them. It won't help, it never helps. Not here, and not with them. You know that.
[ He doesn't tell her she has no reason to be angry. He just doesn't want her to show it. Keep it locked inside, hidden, controlled. Keep it until the moment when it's useful, because it's only use right now would be to get her into trouble. ]
no subject
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
It's a little l8 for that! ::::/
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
I know you're right, 8ut how could I not 8e mad? Really???? I'm not you! I can't just put a smile on and pretend like everything is fine and dandy.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
8ecause it's not. I didn't fight my way 8ack onto 8lue for shit like this, Sturmhond.
[ She's just not worried about getting into trouble. For however angry she might be, she knows at the end of the day that she plans to remain loyal. And if she gets in trouble anyway? Fuck it. ]
no subject
Yes you can. You can put on a smile. You can say the right words, you can do whatever you have to do, because the consequence of not doing that is far worse than half a minute of pain.
[ Which is not to diminish those thirty seconds. They had been some of the worst of his life. They had not marked the first time Sturmhond thought he would die here in the CDC's arms, but it had been hard to keep perspective when he had felt the life squeezed from him.
But it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what they do; he will show them the same face that he always does, because righteous anger has never served anyone well here. And he has more than once been shown that it wouldn't take very much for them to cut absolutely everyone on this crew off permanently. ]
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
You smile when you don't feel like smiling. Anger is a guise, Vriska, like anything else. You wear it when strength and indignation is needed, you lean on it to stop yourself falling.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
You show it when you choose to. But never when you feel it. Then it becomes a weakness, and that's when it will be used against you. You did not fight your way back to Blue for that.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
So smile. For his sake, if not your own.
no subject
Of course he's right. He's usually right.
... but she can still be pissed off about his approach, at least. ]
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Don't you F8CKING 8lackmail me with Kyoya, Sturmhond. That's low, even for you, and I don't need the fucking reminder!
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Like I don't fucking know????
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
And you know what? Still not you! I am not going to smile and pretend to 8e gracious and perfect and whatever joke of the day it is you're passing yourself off as.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
8ut I get what you're saying.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
So I'll stop 8itching at everyone, at least.
no subject
It's not blackmail. It's that he'll be as angry as you are. Worse, most likely, considering he's the one it happened to.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
All I want is to take this quietly. If you don't mind, I'd like to return to that now.
no subject
Whatever. So sorry for 8othering you.
[ She wants to say worse and holds herself back. She might apologize later. But right now she's too raw to care. ]
no subject
Vriska.
Please don't get in trouble, whatever you do.
no subject
Who, me? Never! ::::)
[ She won't, ultimately. ]