[ Predictably, it's a few hours until he finds this. When he does, he's not actually feeling all that great, and the sight of this makes him sit down hard on the bed.
How long has it even been since he checked in with his roommates? He should never be too busy for this. He pulls out his blackglass. ]
[ He's not actively on patrol right now but the restless energy that fills him constantly has him moving. It's not right that he can't stop this, he should be able to, should be the one protecting the crew. So he tends to walk a lot, his thoughts always whirring.
All in all, he's thankful for the momentary reprieve that the message brings him. ]
FROM: athos@cdc.org
In one of the many corridors. Why? What's happened?
[ A lie, actually. His Black Box experience had been harrowing. He can't talk about that, though. Not because he's gag-ordered, but because he doesn't think he can force himself to.
How disappointing. Do they not teach men how to drink in Ravka?
[ It's as much of a playful tease as he's ever going to get. He knows no one is really feeling like there is light in the universe any more. But he has to make an effort. ]
FROM: athos@cdc.org
You'll eat though. I don't want to find your unconscious body in the halls. It would be bad for my nerves.
[ In the worst of situations, no matter what's going on, he can always rely on Athos to be sassy.
Maybe that's why he relies on him so much. ]
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
It was tougher than I imagined. Clearly, this means I should have imagined better. They did try to warn me.
[ He still can't really talk about it. What happened in that room is going to need to stay in that room.
If he's not himself, though, at least Athos will know why. ]
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
And peace is all well and good, but I've never been wonderful at sitting still. I thought training would be better than waiting around for another shift.
[ Athos doesn't really know how to extend an offer of company to people. With his friends it's simple, they wouldn't leave him alone even if he wished it. So they are always there and they always have him. Perhaps he has been in that mind frame here. Expecting the people who need him to come to him. Maybe he should have offered. ]
FROM: athos@cdc.org
I can't say I'll go easily on you but I might be able to do a little better than a machine.
[ He's surprised, but actually pleased. Athos is a very good swordsman, and Nikolai would be glad of the practice. That's something familiar. Welcome, even. ]
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
I'd like that. It's been a while since I've had a partner I wasn't training.
We're so often rushing around on the battlefield. I confess I'd like to see what you can do.
[ This is something he's good at, goading his friends into fighting with him because he knows it helps. If Sturmhond needs his time filled then what better way than to fence with Athos. He likes to word it as a challenge, but it's friendly enough. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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How long has it even been since he checked in with his roommates? He should never be too busy for this. He pulls out his blackglass. ]
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
Athos. Where are you?
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All in all, he's thankful for the momentary reprieve that the message brings him. ]
FROM: athos@cdc.org
In one of the many corridors. Why? What's happened?
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Nothing new.
[ A lie, actually. His Black Box experience had been harrowing. He can't talk about that, though. Not because he's gag-ordered, but because he doesn't think he can force himself to.
He's still holding the sandwich in his lap. ]
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
You made me lunch.
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FROM: athos@cdc.org
I did. I thought with everything going on you might have forgotten the importance of nourishment. Why, is there something the matter with it?
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Saints, no. Not at all. I didn't expect it, that's all.
[ It was strangely caring. On a normal day he would take that in stride. Today that's harder, and it touches him somehow.
Ridiculous. He needs to get a handle on himself. ]
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
Thank you.
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FROM: athos@cdc.org
Make sure to eat it. Have a drink too. I hear it's fortifying.
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I don't think I've wanted to have a drink this much since Ajna.
[ Since the week he killed Barnaby. Even the death of the planet hadn't affected him that strongly. ]
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
Later, though. There's too much going on. I'll be no good to anyone if my mind is fogged.
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How disappointing. Do they not teach men how to drink in Ravka?
[ It's as much of a playful tease as he's ever going to get. He knows no one is really feeling like there is light in the universe any more. But he has to make an effort. ]
FROM: athos@cdc.org
You'll eat though. I don't want to find your unconscious body in the halls. It would be bad for my nerves.
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I wouldn't want to make you nervous.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
Will you drink with me tonight? Perhaps I can afford it then.
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Undoubtedly I will still count you among those which do. But yes, of course I will.
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FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
Sorry about that. It's a force of habit.
I was in the Black Box today. And yesterday. Not an experience I'd recommend, actually.
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Well, now I know what tonight's topic of conversation will be. Self-preservation.
[ He'd thought about it himself but he supposes there's still a streak of cowardice in him that stops him from doing it. ]
FROM: athos@cdc.org
Are you deathly allergic to peace, Monsieur? It's the only excuse I can come up with for you filling even the smallest of time with more punishment.
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Maybe that's why he relies on him so much. ]
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
It was tougher than I imagined. Clearly, this means I should have imagined better. They did try to warn me.
[ He still can't really talk about it. What happened in that room is going to need to stay in that room.
If he's not himself, though, at least Athos will know why. ]
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
And peace is all well and good, but I've never been wonderful at sitting still. I thought training would be better than waiting around for another shift.
I should have just stuck to the brandy, really.
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If you want something to do, pick up a sword.
[ Athos doesn't really know how to extend an offer of company to people. With his friends it's simple, they wouldn't leave him alone even if he wished it. So they are always there and they always have him. Perhaps he has been in that mind frame here. Expecting the people who need him to come to him. Maybe he should have offered. ]
FROM: athos@cdc.org
I can't say I'll go easily on you but I might be able to do a little better than a machine.
[ He'd be kinder too. ]
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You want to spar with me?
[ He's surprised, but actually pleased. Athos is a very good swordsman, and Nikolai would be glad of the practice. That's something familiar. Welcome, even. ]
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
I'd like that. It's been a while since I've had a partner I wasn't training.
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We're so often rushing around on the battlefield. I confess I'd like to see what you can do.
[ This is something he's good at, goading his friends into fighting with him because he knows it helps. If Sturmhond needs his time filled then what better way than to fence with Athos. He likes to word it as a challenge, but it's friendly enough. ]
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FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
All this time, and you don't think you know?
I've taken too long to show you, then.
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One might say you have been remiss in your duties, Captain.
FROM: athos@cdc.org
I will do my best not to hold it against you.
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I'm so sorry. I shall have to make up for it. You can't let me away with that sort of thing.