He's not just being serious. Or angry about it. He's hurt. He's upset. He's been worrying about her.
She didn't realize this went both ways. Or how deeply it went for him. She knew she worried about him but she didn't stop to think about it the other way.
She looks up at him as he touches her cheek softly. Just like before they separated at home.
Her arms go around him suddenly, giving him a tight hug. ]
I promise. I won't disappear again. Not without telling you.
[ Her movement is sudden enough to surprise him, but he hugs her back nevertheless. She had worried him. Aside from his own safety, hers is the main thing he cares about here. He holds her tightly, keeping her near for a moment.
He only leans back when she makes that promise. ]
Good. Thank you. I'd after all hate to charge in and defend your honour if you were attending a simple meeting. Honestly, Alina, it's as if you don't care whether I embarrass myself.
[ She blinks a couple of times at that statement. ]
I don't think I've ever seen you embarrassed. I'd almost pay to see it happen.
[ But. Main topic. She nods and steps back a little so she's not... clinging to him....
Then she takes out her patch and shows it to him. ]
I'm an official member of the Neheda crew. Not just a recruit in training. We get a little more information now, not a lot but some more. And leading roles.
[ Like a lightning strike. Bemused, Nikolai smiles and reaches to trace his thumb over it. ]
They must think you're a Squallor. I hope you didn't correct them.
[ Then he raises his eyes to hers. His smile is more genuine now, though some of the worry has returned. Greater clearance means more information.
It also means they've taken note of her. And they're watching her. And they're dangerous, and if she puts a foot out of line... ]
Gliese has a good eye in her head. She knows a leader when she sees one. You'll do well, Alina. I presume this is information you're not allowed to share?
[ The corner of his mouth flicks upwards in a crooked smile. He shakes his head. ]
Modesty is unbecoming, lovely. You know how I feel about that.
Months ago you told me you wanted to lead an army, and I scoffed at it because you had no experience to speak of. And then you did it, and they clamoured to follow you.
Remember all you know, and you'll be fine. I would have chosen you. [ A pause. ] I did choose you. I can believe the CDC could be wrong, but I'm certainly confident in my own choices.
[ He looks at her steadily, and reaches to take hold of her arms. ]
No different at all. You assert yourself. You speak with authority, and you hold your strength clear of them. No one takes it from you. You meet insults with laughter, and challenges with victories, and you know the difference between them. When they scoff at you, smile at them. You know all of this already. You just have to do it.
[ He lets out a thoughtful little hum, and then shakes his head. ]
If I were, I wouldn't ask it so coldly. [ A slight smile. ] There's some lessons I'm capable of learning.
Realistically though, if you give me orders I'll obey them. [ A smile twitches at his lips. ] The CDC are serious, Alina. Neither of us ought to take them lightly.
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He's not just being serious. Or angry about it. He's hurt. He's upset. He's been worrying about her.
She didn't realize this went both ways. Or how deeply it went for him. She knew she worried about him but she didn't stop to think about it the other way.
She looks up at him as he touches her cheek softly. Just like before they separated at home.
Her arms go around him suddenly, giving him a tight hug. ]
I promise. I won't disappear again. Not without telling you.
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He only leans back when she makes that promise. ]
Good. Thank you. I'd after all hate to charge in and defend your honour if you were attending a simple meeting. Honestly, Alina, it's as if you don't care whether I embarrass myself.
[ Now he smiles. Slightly, but it's there. ]
Now. What's this about clearance?
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I don't think I've ever seen you embarrassed. I'd almost pay to see it happen.
[ But. Main topic. She nods and steps back a little so she's not... clinging to him....
Then she takes out her patch and shows it to him. ]
I'm an official member of the Neheda crew. Not just a recruit in training. We get a little more information now, not a lot but some more. And leading roles.
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They must think you're a Squallor. I hope you didn't correct them.
[ Then he raises his eyes to hers. His smile is more genuine now, though some of the worry has returned. Greater clearance means more information.
It also means they've taken note of her. And they're watching her. And they're dangerous, and if she puts a foot out of line... ]
Gliese has a good eye in her head. She knows a leader when she sees one. You'll do well, Alina. I presume this is information you're not allowed to share?
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Some things I won't be able to share. At least until you get your own patch.
[ She frowns. ] There are a lot of people here better at this than me. I'm willing to do the work and effort, but you're already better than I am.
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Modesty is unbecoming, lovely. You know how I feel about that.
Months ago you told me you wanted to lead an army, and I scoffed at it because you had no experience to speak of. And then you did it, and they clamoured to follow you.
Remember all you know, and you'll be fine. I would have chosen you. [ A pause. ] I did choose you. I can believe the CDC could be wrong, but I'm certainly confident in my own choices.
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You might have been kind of crazy to allow me.
Leading the Grisha is different from leading a bunch of people I don't know.
[ But she nods her head. ] I'll still do my best. You'll probably still have to coach me, though.
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[ He looks at her steadily, and reaches to take hold of her arms. ]
No different at all. You assert yourself. You speak with authority, and you hold your strength clear of them. No one takes it from you. You meet insults with laughter, and challenges with victories, and you know the difference between them. When they scoff at you, smile at them. You know all of this already. You just have to do it.
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Hey, maybe if I really mess up I can embarrass you by saying you trained me.
Maybe then I could finally see you embarrassed.
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And of course, I'm proud of you already. Deflecting a serious situation and turning it into humour? A classic move.
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I rank higher than you now. I could boss you around.
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I should probably worry about the amount of pleasure you sound like you'd take in that.
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What are your orders, then, Moi Soverenyi? Ask, and I shall gladly obey.
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She doesn't hesitate to punch him in the arm. ]
Not fair. [ She crosses her arms and looks away from him now. ]
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[ He makes a show of rubbing his arm, as if he's offended. In truth he's grinning. ]
You can make sport of us, but I can't? That's not how it works, Alina my dear.
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Just... not Soverenyi. Please.
That was his name.
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That's what they call you now, lovely. Don't think I haven't heard it.
And besides, if you'd like to change it to Tsaritsa, we need to have a whole other conversation.
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Are you proposing? Again?
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If I were, I wouldn't ask it so coldly. [ A slight smile. ] There's some lessons I'm capable of learning.
Realistically though, if you give me orders I'll obey them. [ A smile twitches at his lips. ] The CDC are serious, Alina. Neither of us ought to take them lightly.
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Good thing I'm not power-hungry, then. [ She thinks. Actually..... ]
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Are we still talking about the CDC?
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Yes.
[ Pause. ]
I don't know.
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You confuse me, sometimes.
Let's walk for a while. The camp makes me unsociable. We can pretend we're in the gardens again.
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It's been awhile since you escorted me anywhere.
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