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FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org
Oh.
[ She did know. And part of her convinced herself it wasn't happening, though. But of course, the alliance made sense. Of course he'd come back to it. Believing it wasn't going to happen was just avoidance of the situation.
And that situation was changing too. Nikolai wasn't some generic Prince to her out for her power anymore. He was her friend. Possibly her best friend in any world. Someone she trusted more than anyone else right now. He was important to her. Which meant the question was taking on a whole new meaning. Would it strengthen their relationship? Ruin their friendship?
Would it mean something more than alliance to them? ]
FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org
Maybe I'll finally have an answer when you finally ask.
Oh.
[ She did know. And part of her convinced herself it wasn't happening, though. But of course, the alliance made sense. Of course he'd come back to it. Believing it wasn't going to happen was just avoidance of the situation.
And that situation was changing too. Nikolai wasn't some generic Prince to her out for her power anymore. He was her friend. Possibly her best friend in any world. Someone she trusted more than anyone else right now. He was important to her. Which meant the question was taking on a whole new meaning. Would it strengthen their relationship? Ruin their friendship?
Would it mean something more than alliance to them? ]
FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org
Maybe I'll finally have an answer when you finally ask.
[ Nikolai isn't stupid. And he's thinking as Nikolai now, not as Sturmhond. He's thinking about a world far from here, a throne which he will now inherit, and wars that will go on whether the Darkling lives or dies. He imagines a better world.
A prince would be expected to marry into royalty. A Fjerdan princess. A Shu duchess. A match that would improve Ravka's relations with one of its foes.
That's not the alliance he wants. This is. He doesn't want a noble wife, he wants the Sun Queen. Sol Koroleva. That's the alliance, that's the match that would strengthen Ravka the most.
But it's what Nikolai wants, too. He cares about Alina, not just the Sun Saint. She, personally, is his ally. His friend, too. In this place, so far from home, she's the only one he genuinely, fully trusts. He's always known that he wouldn't marry for love. But with her? With her he can imagine it. She's the only woman who's ever made him hope for more. ]
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
When you're ready, then. I'll try not to ask until you are.
A prince would be expected to marry into royalty. A Fjerdan princess. A Shu duchess. A match that would improve Ravka's relations with one of its foes.
That's not the alliance he wants. This is. He doesn't want a noble wife, he wants the Sun Queen. Sol Koroleva. That's the alliance, that's the match that would strengthen Ravka the most.
But it's what Nikolai wants, too. He cares about Alina, not just the Sun Saint. She, personally, is his ally. His friend, too. In this place, so far from home, she's the only one he genuinely, fully trusts. He's always known that he wouldn't marry for love. But with her? With her he can imagine it. She's the only woman who's ever made him hope for more. ]
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
When you're ready, then. I'll try not to ask until you are.
FROM fray.clary@cdc.org
Whenever you can is fine by me.
[ So many people have offered to help her learn to fight after what happened with Dagger. But part of her wants Sturmhond to help more. He's severe, sure. There's always a hint of danger in his words.
But he also makes her smile. There is that. ]
FROM fray.clary@cdc.org
Is it dangerous?
Whenever you can is fine by me.
[ So many people have offered to help her learn to fight after what happened with Dagger. But part of her wants Sturmhond to help more. He's severe, sure. There's always a hint of danger in his words.
But he also makes her smile. There is that. ]
FROM fray.clary@cdc.org
Is it dangerous?
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
The mission? One can only hope. There'll be no excitement at all, otherwise.
[ ...he's actually serious. He does pause here, though. He'd kept out of the whole mess with Dagger, despite seeing her name on the list. He hadn't tried to get her out of it. It wouldn't have helped.
She'll have to do worse than pass his tests during her time here. She has to be strong enough to deal with that, and getting her out of a punishment wouldn't help her do so.
That doesn't mean he's pitiless, though. ]
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
How are you? The last few days cannot have been pleasant.
The mission? One can only hope. There'll be no excitement at all, otherwise.
[ ...he's actually serious. He does pause here, though. He'd kept out of the whole mess with Dagger, despite seeing her name on the list. He hadn't tried to get her out of it. It wouldn't have helped.
She'll have to do worse than pass his tests during her time here. She has to be strong enough to deal with that, and getting her out of a punishment wouldn't help her do so.
That doesn't mean he's pitiless, though. ]
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
How are you? The last few days cannot have been pleasant.
FROMfray.clary@cdc.org
We totally have different meanings for the word excitement, Sturmhond.
[ A pause between this and the next as she thinks about coming up with a way to convey just how terrible it was. How her muscles still twinge and she'd thought she was dying then, that she'd never see her mom again, or Simon, or Jace.
She doesn't. ]
FROMfray.clary@cdc.org
It happened. It sucked. It's not important.
We totally have different meanings for the word excitement, Sturmhond.
[ A pause between this and the next as she thinks about coming up with a way to convey just how terrible it was. How her muscles still twinge and she'd thought she was dying then, that she'd never see her mom again, or Simon, or Jace.
She doesn't. ]
FROMfray.clary@cdc.org
It happened. It sucked. It's not important.
FROM fray.clary@cdc.org
Because I'm not a killer. That was what he wanted. To find out how to kill friends of mine. And what if I'd done it? What if the next one was to slit the throat of someone I like and trust?
[ It's the thing that's been beating in her chest since she got to Ajna. That the CDC want her to destroy. She's not a fool. She knows what her mission is. It's just that accepting it is hard. ]
FROM fray.clary@cdc.org
I hate feeling like it's kill or be killed all of the time. It shouldn't be this way.
Because I'm not a killer. That was what he wanted. To find out how to kill friends of mine. And what if I'd done it? What if the next one was to slit the throat of someone I like and trust?
[ It's the thing that's been beating in her chest since she got to Ajna. That the CDC want her to destroy. She's not a fool. She knows what her mission is. It's just that accepting it is hard. ]
FROM fray.clary@cdc.org
I hate feeling like it's kill or be killed all of the time. It shouldn't be this way.
Edited 2014-07-06 22:23 (UTC)
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
They brought us here to destroy the planet, lovely. Wanting a better world is admirable, but you have to survive if you want to see it.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
You must not give them the excuse to kill you. They'll do it before they'll see their mission fail. You must understand that.
They brought us here to destroy the planet, lovely. Wanting a better world is admirable, but you have to survive if you want to see it.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
You must not give them the excuse to kill you. They'll do it before they'll see their mission fail. You must understand that.
FROM fray.clary@cdc.org
I don't want to be what they're trying to make me.
[ Because it reminds her too much of Valentine. Always trying to be the best and kill anyone who didn't fit in to his world view. It makes her so angry all of the time. ]
FROM fray.clary@cdc.org
Why are we even doing this? Is this place even a threat to anybody?
I don't want to be what they're trying to make me.
[ Because it reminds her too much of Valentine. Always trying to be the best and kill anyone who didn't fit in to his world view. It makes her so angry all of the time. ]
FROM fray.clary@cdc.org
Why are we even doing this? Is this place even a threat to anybody?
[ Well, that's good because Clary doesn't want to stay in her rover. Her face is pinched when she answers the door, her thick, heavy coat covering every inch of her. At least it's cold out. She won't have to explain the sudden thickening of the runes on her arms and chest, her neck. ]
Do you want to walk around? [ Lifting one eyebrow and letting Korol sniff at her fingers. ] I don't know how this spy stuff works but my rover's kind of ... cramped.
[ BY OFTEN SHIRTLESS MEN. She wouldn't want you to feel bad. ]
Do you want to walk around? [ Lifting one eyebrow and letting Korol sniff at her fingers. ] I don't know how this spy stuff works but my rover's kind of ... cramped.
[ BY OFTEN SHIRTLESS MEN. She wouldn't want you to feel bad. ]
[ He smiles, already offering her his arm. ]
That's why I came. Not that I wouldn't like your hospitality, but it can be hard to find privacy inside those things.
I thought we might go into the trees, for a while. Let Korol hunt. He likes that.
[ Korol, recognising that word, makes a pleased little huffing sound, and trots out to walk in front of them. ]
Are you game?
That's why I came. Not that I wouldn't like your hospitality, but it can be hard to find privacy inside those things.
I thought we might go into the trees, for a while. Let Korol hunt. He likes that.
[ Korol, recognising that word, makes a pleased little huffing sound, and trots out to walk in front of them. ]
Are you game?
[ She looks at him for a moment before taking the offered arm and throwing a smile to Korol. ]
I mean now you've said it, I can't deny him, can I? You should spell it out. Like this h - u - n - t. Then he won't know or expect it. Or that's what they do to dogs on the TV. Maybe space dragon cats can spell.
[ They walk and she feels a little better, breathing in cold hair and letting it fill her lungs.] So ...
I mean now you've said it, I can't deny him, can I? You should spell it out. Like this h - u - n - t. Then he won't know or expect it. Or that's what they do to dogs on the TV. Maybe space dragon cats can spell.
[ They walk and she feels a little better, breathing in cold hair and letting it fill her lungs.] So ...
My dogs liked hunting just as much. That was in fact why I raised them. Korol's doing his best to fill the role.
[ Korol glances around at Clary, before making another little huff and walking on. Generally, the only person holding Sturmhond's arm is Alina, and it's odd to see another person there. He doesn't know her well, but he's evidently decided she's not a threat.
Sturmhond looks down at her, though. He's smiling, but there's a seriousness about his eyes. ]
I don't know if Ajna is a threat, Clary. But it's hardly the point. We aren't on some quest for justice or vengeance, here.
We're here because it's the job. Disliking that job is all well and good, but how far do you go with that? They don't take dissent very lightly, as you've already seen.
[ Korol glances around at Clary, before making another little huff and walking on. Generally, the only person holding Sturmhond's arm is Alina, and it's odd to see another person there. He doesn't know her well, but he's evidently decided she's not a threat.
Sturmhond looks down at her, though. He's smiling, but there's a seriousness about his eyes. ]
I don't know if Ajna is a threat, Clary. But it's hardly the point. We aren't on some quest for justice or vengeance, here.
We're here because it's the job. Disliking that job is all well and good, but how far do you go with that? They don't take dissent very lightly, as you've already seen.
I'd get it if I'd woken up and went well today I think I'll become a mass murderer. Then signing up for this would have made sense. But they tricked me. [ She's aware she almost sounds like a child, the thread of upset in her voice not what she wants to project at all. ]
I didn't give them my resume. And if I did they would have totally realised I'm not what they're looking for. [ Part of her wonders if that's true. She does have a mean streak and judging by the state of her bloodline ... ]
I didn't give them my resume. And if I did they would have totally realised I'm not what they're looking for. [ Part of her wonders if that's true. She does have a mean streak and judging by the state of her bloodline ... ]
I know they did.
[ He says it with a sigh. That's something he doesn't approve of. Not solely because it reminds him too much of drafting (though it does, and that idea doesn't thrill him anyway) but because it seems to him that that's asking for trouble. Recruiting people who aren't totally willing. Of course it leads to dissent. Of course it leads to the need to punish, and quell.
He doesn't like that. And he does like Clary, and doesn't want her to suffer from what basically amounts to the stupidity of her recruiter. ]
I know they lied, lovely, and I know it isn't fair. I also know you won't change any part of that by getting yourself in trouble here. You won't stop what they're doing. If Dagger wanted to kill any one of us, he would do it. Their own systems are the only things keeping us alive here. You must know that.
[ He says it with a sigh. That's something he doesn't approve of. Not solely because it reminds him too much of drafting (though it does, and that idea doesn't thrill him anyway) but because it seems to him that that's asking for trouble. Recruiting people who aren't totally willing. Of course it leads to dissent. Of course it leads to the need to punish, and quell.
He doesn't like that. And he does like Clary, and doesn't want her to suffer from what basically amounts to the stupidity of her recruiter. ]
I know they lied, lovely, and I know it isn't fair. I also know you won't change any part of that by getting yourself in trouble here. You won't stop what they're doing. If Dagger wanted to kill any one of us, he would do it. Their own systems are the only things keeping us alive here. You must know that.
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